2024 fashion trends that my grandma would hate
The Skouser: Just when you thought all the ripped jeans in your closet had been in the firing line of every insult from grandma, the Skouser lands on the fashion scene. I am not talking about a Kardashian from up north, but the skirt-trouser famously rocked by a young Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet, depicting fashionable indecision and leaving such in its wake. Some may call it the ‘got dressed with your eyes closed’ look but when paired with a simple top-half, it does the talking. My grandma would find this look baffling especially when showing her the attached photo of Shakira who she would most likely label a Scotsman on the way to a business meeting. Grandma should lay off, after Pique, getting called a Scotsman is the least of Shakira’s worries.
2. No Pants: When nearing old age, you accept that you may start to forget the odd detail. You did just read that skirt trousers are in and no you are not hallucinating, I am now telling you to ditch the layers completely. Every mini skirt in my closet is ‘too short’ in my grandma’s eyes and so it is a stretch to think she would dislike this trend. She would hate it. Fashion has gone mad, but is this minimalism takeover worth embracing? As my grandma resides in the Shropshire countryside, the no-pants look wouldn’t be deserving of such an audience…How can one just go and fetch some milk in such an attire without being reported to neighbourhood watch the next week? Seeing a white van provides my grandma and co with enough community commentary, catching a glimpse of Betty channelling this trend would be enough of a reason to truly take her dementia diagnosis seriously.
3. Sheer Skirts: Whether they are too short or too see-through: can you truly have it all in fashion when it comes to skirts? The length would get the all-clear from grandma, yet the sheer nature would get her wishing she never got her contact lens prescription renewed. Apparently ‘because Julia Fox’ rocked it isn’t enough of a valid excuse to don the mesh and embrace a see-through look with no secrets to hide. Of course, if this look doesn’t get the green light from grandma you can either take it off and summon the no-pants look or add a skirt-skouser. Either or, I know that my grandma would be induced into a state of delirium after being sucked in by the fashionista somersaults performed today: perhaps it is a good thing she chooses House and Garden over Vogue.
